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Introducing Authorial Mom Laurel Levy

Laurel Levy

         So I sit in the Boise airport, where the floor vibrates with every passing plane, and contemplate all the new things that are happening. First, and the reason you are being subjected to my ramblings, is that I somehow got picked up by some awesome ladies that wanted me to play in their sandbox. Now, I have the lucky task of explaining the bumps in the road the comes with being a writer and a mom.
            The second newness is that I even consider myself a writer (for real, like) and actually kinda-sorta believe I belong in the ranks of “real” writers. I sit, looking around at the other waiting passengers and am stunned that there are so many people reading rather than talking on the phone like they do in CA. It makes me excited to see the readers and have a secret thrill that maybe someday I will see one of my own titles in the MUST READ racks in the airport—if for no other reason than I would be making some sort of living at what I dedicate a crazy amount of time to.
I write Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy. Only with the limitless support of my loyal reader and good friend, Sarah, would I have pushed myself last year to move past a project that I was married to and attempt three new books, two of which I am keeping my fingers crossed in the Golden Heart writing contest. Join me in jittery anticipation, won’t you?
            The biggest newness is that I achieve the rank that this pack of writers have already realized. Later this year, I will become a mother for the first time. Now, I’m a late bloomer to the whole motherhood thing, but what I have noticed is that, so far, pregnancy with all the fear, paranoia and anticipation, has caused my creative knackers to go on vacation. Sure, I had all the incredible pregnancy dreams, a few that even led to story ideas, but have I written anything? I’ve made attempts. I’ve outlined a new story. I’ve hemmed and hawed over paragraphs, perspectives, and locations. I’ve tossed around follow-ups to stories I’ve written. I’ve contemplated research for said stories.
            What have I really done? Surfed the web regarding the size and shape of my growing baby. Found out from those websites what I was to expect from my body. I have fought morning sickness, fatigue, and a sort of crankiness that would have otherwise had me incarcerated (we won’t discuss the two times at Christmas I almost divorced my husband for not being nice to a raving lunatic).
            I have been reassured by my cheerleading squad that, having written four manuscripts last year and being newly pregnant, I was entitled to have a break in maintaining my writing zeal. But see, the conundrum is that telling a pregnant woman not to worry is sort of like asking a wall for advice about your marriage. Of course I worry. I worry because I read stupid blogs by great, amazing writers that say junk like, “I write every day, no matter what.” Then I pull out my whip for a good dose of self-flagellation. I have been told that the distraction I feel now is nothing compared to what happens with a new baby and frankly, you might as well push me right over the Cliffs of Insanity… Oh wait. Already did that… Okay. The Canyon of Freak-the-H-Out. If I don’t write, then I’ll loose my muse and then I won’t ever, ever write again, right? Or, I’ll decide that I have managed to write books. Okay, books, if nothing else, and now I can move onto my next thing (see the filmmaking, jewelry making, quilting, and cooking that went before—though I still cook, ‘cause a girl’s gotta eat). I panic because I don’t really want to give up on writing like I have all those things before. I enjoy writing. I just wonder if this “new” distraction is gonna be the mother of all distractions—oh, poo! That’s a bad pun. Sorry.
            Ultimately, there is no real choice. I don’t anticipate giving up writing because of my need for it. I’m obviously not going to give up my child for the sake of writing. My only option is to muddle through, as best I can. With role models like the women that have invited me into their clan and the support of those around me, I might just be able to juggle this, work and all.

            Like my husband keeps reminding me about our impending parenthood—it’ll be an adventure. Are you up for an adventure?

Authorial Moms Interview with Therese Kinkaide

Authorial Mom: Welcome to the Authorial Moms blog, Therese! Tell us a little about yourself. How many kids do you have? How old are they? 

Therese Kinkaide

Therese Kinkaide: Thank you, Sarah.  I used to be a pre-kindergarten teacher. I love music and love to watch my kids play sports. I learned last year it is very cool to be a golf mom. And I love to read.  I have two kids: my daughter is 15 (very soon to be 16) and my son is 10.

AM: What do you write? How many books have you written/published? How old are they?
TK: I write women’s fiction and young adult fiction.  I have three women’s fiction novels published: Betrayal (1998) Luther’s Cross (2008) and Fairytale (2011.)  I also have three young adult books: Crush (a collection of short stories from 2009) Vocab. 101 and Gun Metal Gray (both 2010.) I’ve written others, some of which I hope to publish someday and some of which will never see the light of day.
AM: Tell me about a typical day. How do you write with kids around? Or do you have to ship them off to school or grandparents’ houses to get anything done?
TK: My typical writing day is their school day.  My husband takes my daughter to school, and I take my son.  I drop him off around 8:10 and then come back home and make coffee and park in my office.  I spend twenty to thirty minutes checking email and checking in on Facebook.  Some days I write up until the moment I leave to pick the kids up from school, and sometimes, I have to stop and do real life things, like laundry or grocery shopping.  If the kids are home, and I want to write, I close my office doors, turn on my iTunes playlist and use my earbuds and write.  If I’m far enough into a manuscript, nothing bothers me.
AM: Did you write before you had kids, or after? What changed with your writing when you had kids?
TK: I have been writing since I was in 5th grade.  I wrote several books by hand from eighth grade all the way through high school.  I didn’t write as much or as often when the kids were little.  But now that they’re a little older, I find it easier to make time for writing.  Also, with each book that comes out, the kids tend to take my writing a little more seriously, so they do try to give me time to work, especially when the manuscript is working well.

AM: How old will one or more of your children have to be before they’re allowed to read your books?
TK: My daughter has read all of my young adult work, both published and not.  My young adult books are available at my son’s school library, but he has only read Crush, the short story collection.  My daughter just read a women’s fiction novel by an author I like, therefore, I guess she’s old enough to read my women’s fiction.  However, she wasn’t enthralled with that book, and I think that’s partly because she’s not interested in reading about an adult’s life and worries and stress and job.  I’d guess she wouldn’t care for my books yet either, and I think it might feel a little awkward for her at this point.
      AM: Becoming an author means having a public persona. How do you combine motherhood with the demands of a public life? Do you feature your kids, keep them shielded under pseudonyms, or leave them out of the equation entirely? Have they asserted their opinion(s) on this matter?
TK: I write women’s fiction under a pen name.  I made that decision when I first wrote Betrayal.  My daughter was very young, and I was teaching in a pre-kindergarten program.  I felt it was best to keep my personal life separate from writing.  I’ve stuck with that decision, and I do like keeping it separate.  I write young adult under my real name, and I’ve dedicated those books to my kids.  Other than that, I don’t feature my kids, and no, they don’t really seem to have an opinion on any of it.
AM: Most Moms I know have a limited amount of free time. Give me a few reasons why they should dedicate some of that time to your characters. What’s in it for us?
TK: I write character-driven fiction.  My characters are always a mix of women I really admire and respect, women I know, who inspire me.  I love my characters like they are my children, though I put them through hell.  I am fascinated by relationships of all sorts, and I focus on those relationships in my books.  My characters are very real, very much like you and me, and they love and give and laugh and cry and hurt just like you and me.  I want you to meet my characters and love them as much as I do.
     AM: Let’s have a little fun with fill-in-the-blanks.“The floor of my kitchen is so ___ you can ___ it.”
TK: “The floor of my dining room is so dusty you can write a book in it.”
AM: In what way have you turned into your mother? How are you coping with it?
TK: My mom is a very giving, very compassionate person.  I believe I’m a giving, compassionate person, and I thank her for raising me that way. She was also involved in my life and somewhat strict.  I like to think I am that involved in my kids’ lives.  I’m my kids’ mom, not their friend.
AM: What’s up next for you?
TK: I just finished a women’s fiction Christmas novel called Small Hours.  And I am currently writing a women’s fiction novel that is…nameless.  I keep changing my mind on the title.  But I can tell you I love it.  I love these characters so, so much, it pains me to be away from writing them for any length of time.  I also have 3 other WIPs: a disco time travel romance (very different for me, but so much fun, ) a light-hearted young adult romance, and a sequel to the Gun Metal Gray.
AM: Where can we find you online?
TK: I’m on Facebook and Myspace. Readers can find my books at Wings Press and at L & L Dreamspell. And, of course, please visit my website. Soon, I’ll also have Broemmer Books up and running, so be sure to check back for that!
AM: Therese, thanks so much for stopping by the Authorial Moms blog today. I enjoyed chatting with you (but then, I usually do anyway) and I hope you’ll come back soon!

Kid with Camera

Warning! The following post has nothing to do with anything. Proceed at your own risk.

So, we went to a shower last weekend. As my wonderful husband had to work, I took The Kid with me, and I put him to work. Is it normal for a five-going-on-six-year-old-boy to be so darned handy with a centerpiece?

Anyway, at one point during the festivities, my mom’s camera (hi, Mom!) had a technical issue, and I handed her mine. The next thing I knew, The Kid was darting hither and yon, snapping off some truly great* pictures like these:

Apparently Ansel Adams down there decided that one photo of carpeting wasn’t enough, so he also took this one:

In case I needed to remember the different carpet styles the hotel was sporting. He’s awesome like that.

But there was much more to this shower that *just* carpeting. Oh, yes. There were also windows:

And I quote: “Ooh, pretty!” Yes, he’s quite the tasteful young chap.

That potted plant sure knew how to strike a pose.

Yes, it was a day of documenting every surface:

Even the reflective ones. I named this one “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Goofball.”


Seriously, he took this picture of the ceiling;

and said, “Oh, that’s a good one.” He’s a little off, that boy of mine. As you can see, The Kid should stick to stills.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, But Authorial Mom, didn’t he take any pictures of people? And the answer is yes. Yes, he did. But in at least one sister’s opinion, they are the kind of blackmail shots that will get one or more of my kneecaps broken if I post them. After all, The Kid is only 4 feet tall–you have to look down at him. Not the most flattering camera angle. Toss in blurry, like this:

and, well, you get the idea. This shot is entitled, “Run Away, Mommy Wants Her Camera Back.” A three-minute chase ensued. This is what I get for encouraging the boy’s artistic tendencies.

*not really

Changes are A’Coming

The Authorial Mom blog is undergoing some changes, and I think you’ll like them.

I’m going to be teaming up with a few other moms who are authors. Andrea Dickinson and Laurel Levy will be joining the Authorial ranks, posting once or twice a month (assuming no one is on deadline and no children have the stomach flu, of course).

In addition, we’re going to start having guest bloggers, other moms who are authors who want to talk about getting their books published while managing family life. If you’d like to set up an interview or guest blog, just email me!

Why am I teaming up with other Authorial Moms? There are a couple of good reasons. First off, I have less time to devote to my random musings. As a Harlequin Desire author now, I’m going to have real deadlines. Plus, I’m reviewing novels for Romance Novel News. And my son is, shall we say, an energetic kindergardener who requires lots of monitoring.

But beyond that, the fact is that I’m essentially a boring person. Really. I do the same things all the time. I walk the dogs, make The Kid do homework and pick up toys, sit at my desk and write down imaginary conversations. I’m not a jet-setting, scandal-producing, drama queen. My name will never make a CNN Entertainment Headline, and that’s okay with me. Sixty percent of the blogs I’ve written over the last few years could be recycled this year without anyone noticing the difference. (Look! My flowers are blooming! We ate turkey for Thanksgiving! I had a birthday! Christmas came again!) I like the comfort and familiarity of predictable routines, but frankly, they don’t make for exciting blogs.

So I’m going to open this up by bringing on two women whom I’ve become close Authorial friends with. I’ll let Andrea and Laurel introduce themselves to you in the coming weeks. They are wonderful women and I couldn’t make this Authorial journey without their love, support, and honest feedback.

So stay tuned for the new and improves Authorial Moms blog!

What I’ve Been Doing Instead Of Writing

So, how have you been?

Good. Good to hear. And how have things been going?

Good. Glad that’s been working out for you.

What’s that? Oh, what have I been up to?

Oh, not much.
The usual, really.

Same old, same old.

School, work, laundry, dinner.

Nothing new to speak of, really.

Same as it ever was.

Well, thanks for checking in!

How To Become A Romance Author

How did I get here? Contrary to popular belief, I did not wake up one morning and decide I was going to write romance novels for Harlequin. If anything, the opposite happened. Let me walk you through my patented* steps to arriving at a career as a Harlequin Author, results guaranteed*!

1. Decide to write a novel.
2. Get busy for the next 20 years with schooling, jobs, marriage, family, and home-ownership.
3. Picture a scene with two people arguing. Wonder who they are.
4. Figure out who they are. Wish they would stop talking in your head.
5. Give up trying to get the imaginary people to be quiet. Decide that writing down what they say will get them out of your head.
6. Write a 537 page novel. Decide it’s brilliant and New York Publishers will be crawling over each other to get to it first. Envision six-figure advances to honor your awesomeness.
7. Realize you have no idea how to alert New York Publishers to your awesomeness. Discover things called ‘query letters.’ Start writing them.
8. Get your first rejection. Rationalize that that person wouldn’t know literature if it bit them on the tush. Send out more query letters.
9. More rejections. Conclude that, while your novel is brilliant, query letters are hard. Dig a little deeper into what goes into a query letter.
10. Discover your supposed to know what genre your novel is. Realize you have no freaking idea, because you haven’t read a full-length fiction novel since you burned out on 70 of them in three months as a part of your Masters defense, and those were all Victorian novels, anyway.
11. Figure since your brilliant novel has people who fall in love and live happily ever after, you might be somewhere near a romance novel.
12. Refuse to label your brilliant novel as a romance because everyone knows romances are trashy, crappy things passing themselves off as literature.
13. Finally settle on ‘women’s literary fiction with strong romantic elements.’ Decide that sounds serious and literate, just like your book.
14. More query letters. More rejections. Rationalize that if someone would just read it, they’d see its awesomeness themselves. Write different query letters.
15. Meanwhile, as this process has taken more than a year, also continue to write other novels. Three, to be exact.
16. Enter a contest with your first novel–contest wins will get your work read by agents and editors!
17. Come in dead last in your category. Read the comments and sob hysterically.
18. Decide to put that first novel away. Rationalize that, when you’re rich and famous, people will want it then.
19. Write a novel in six weeks because it was so much fun. Because the characters are different, they wind up having a lot more sex and saying funnier things.
20. Have your readers tell you they actually ENJOYED reading this novel.
21. Decide to skip sending out the middle two novels and go straight to the one people seem to like.
22. Get a request for the full within three months, followed by a request for a partial three days later.
23. Get really, REALLY excited. Finally–someone is going to read your writing and discover your awesomeness! Go back to envisioning six-figure advances.
24. Get the partial rejected.
25. Get the full rejected, with the comment “I normally love western romances, but the characters just didn’t work for me.”
26. Realize you write westerns. And romances. And there’s nothing wrong with that, because you like them and you have good taste, so they can’t be bad.
27. Send that novel back out.
28. Find an agent who loves it.
29. Sign with the agent. Begin to think about what you’re going to do with that six-figure advance.
30. Struggle for a year and a half with editor rejections on two different books.
31. Decide to write a category book to ‘break in’ and ‘establish your brand name.’ Sure, categories tend to be a little trashier–not that you know from first-hand experience, because you haven’t read that many. But everyone knows that, so it must be true.
32. Read some categories. Discover a few stinkers–but a lot of them are really good, and easier to fit into your busy writing schedule because they’re shorter than full-length novels.
33. Write a category. Embrace a feminist point-of-view that because romance novels focus on a woman’s happiness and sexual satisfaction, they are dismissed as being ‘unimportant’ and ‘sleazy.’ Briefly feel bad for having once thought the same thing, but get over it.
34. Find an editor who loves it. Win and place in several contests.
35. Feel a great deal of personal and professional satisfaction with writing a book that you like and other people–people who are not your mother–also like.
36. Realize that, while you won’t be seeing any six-figure advances any time soon, you’re being paid to write novels, and it only took three and a half years!
37. Celebrate!

*not really

Snow Day Clues for the Clueless

Now, I know that some of you out there are not parents. You may have decided that Mom-and-Dad was not for you, you may be looking for the ‘special’ someone with the right combination of genes and income, or you may be six months pregnant (Hi Leah!). Whatever the reason, you’re an adult who’s a long time removed from snow days.

So, you may be wondering, ‘Gosh, there’s four inches of snow outside. How can I tell if it’s a snow day, versus just a day with a lot of snow?’ Have no fear. In my capacity as Authorial Mom, I’ve come across a few key things that will tip you off to the mythical snow day in action.

1. People who do not normally watch the morning news are glued to the television at 5:42 a.m.
2. Youthful, exuberant shouting fills the air at 6:02, usually immediately preceded or followed by a phone call.
3. Several hours of silence as children normally enthralled by their daily lessons either go back to bed or watch an amount of cartoons only seen on summer Saturdays. (Tip: The age of the youngster in question will dictate this. Older youths will go back to bed. Younger ones will demand one more Phineas and Ferb.)
4. Around approximately 10 a.m., the doors to homes will fly open and creatures vaguely recognizable as children–only lumpier and with more colorful heads–will emerge like a Picasso butterfly from its snow cocoon. This beautiful scene will be marred by whooping, hollering, and, in the case of the youngest revelers getting a snowball in the kisser, sobs of “Cold! COLD!”
5. Children will throw snow–sometimes in ball form, sometimes just by random handfuls–at anyone and anything (including inanimate objects) that happens to be in line of sight. Occasionally, if the precipitation has occurred at just the right humidity levels, they will construct things known as ‘snowmen,’ taking far more pride and care with this ‘man’ made of snow than they do any of their studies. They will demand perfectly good licorice sticks and chocolate-covered almonds for use in constructing facial features for this ‘man.’ They may even name him ‘Snowy.’
6. Exhausted and finally aware of the bone chilling cold that has you shivering in your Snuggie, they will trudge back indoors to demand marshmallows lightly steeped in cocoa that is not hot, but is not cold.

Yes, this are the classic signs of a snow day. But wait! Say you live in sunnier climes, such as Texas or Florida, where snow dare not grace the ground. How can you tell if it’s a snow day up where your siblings have chosen to whelp their offspring? Look for these signs:

1. Telephone your sibling and listen for key clues, such as, “This is the last time I’m telling you, Timmy–get out of the dog’s crate and stop eating his food!” or “No–DON’T drink the sea-monkey water!” or even, “Wait–where are you going with those eggs? Put them back this instant!” all while you are attempting to ask your sibling if they have a snow day.
2. Instant Message, Tweet, or Facebook said siblings and watch for vital clues that may include text such as, “WHY DON’T WE HAVE SCHOOL TODAY! THE ROADS ARE CLEAR!” or “THESE KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!” or the dead-giveaway, “WHAT? 6 more inches tonight?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
3. Call your mother or grandmother and ask if your siblings are at home today. Even if they don’t know, these senior ladies will be more than happy to do a little ‘reconnaissance work’ on your behalf, with the added bonus of you not having to listen directly to disturbing shouts of “I said NOT to lick the chair!” in the background.

Yes, with just a little leg-work and the powers of your keen observation skills, you too can deduce if there is a snow day going on near you or your loved ones.

Or you could look outside, watch the news and check the web like everyone else. This isn’t rocket science, people!

An Open Letter to the Manufacturers of Bridesmaids Dresses

Dear Sirs and Madams:

Why?

(Photo: http://www.edenbridals.com)

What did I ever do to you?

(Photo: http://www.edenbridals.com)

How can you expect me to take you seriously when your products do not even look good on the stick-thin models you’ve chosen to showcase them?

(Photo: http://barijay.com)

Are you aware that heavy, shiny, tight fabrics only magnify the imperfections of the wearer?

(Photo: http://www.jordanfashions.com)

Are you aware that not everyone wants to–or should–be in a sleeveless, even strapless–gowns? And that those who want sleeves are not always mothers-of-the-brides?

(Photo: http://www.jordanfashions.com)

Are you aware that real women have to pay real money for these dresses?

(Photo: http://www.jordanfashions.com)

Where–on God’s green earth–would I EVER wear this again?

(Photo: http://barijay.com)

I implore you. Please, please make something I can wear. I only have eight shopping months left.

Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
The Authorial Mom

(Note: While these dresses are not, shall we say, to my taste, I would like to point out that you may love them. And I’m sure that, on you, they will all be stunning. Really.)

(Note, pt. 2: Also, this is not an all-encompassing list. These are just dresses from sites that would let me copy their pictures. There are many, many bad dresses on certain sites (I’m looking at you, Dessy Group!) that would not allow irritated bloggers to copy and paste their images. You’ll just have to gawk at the awfulness on your own.)

Here She Is . . .

(singing in a baritone voice with orchestral background music)

. . . Ms. Sarah M. Anderson

(wild applause and some happy sobbing)

Yes, the Judges** have spoken, and Thoughtful Yet Serious Sarah is the Winner!

Let’s have a warm round of applause for our runner-up: Bug Bite Sarah!

Should Thoughtful Yet Serious Sarah be unable to complete her reign as Ms. Sarah M. Anderson (or if an editor casts a trumping vote), Bug Bite Sarah will assume the crown.

The Consolation Prize (which is nothing but another mention in the blog) goes to Tree Girl Sarah.

An Authorial Mom favorite, Tree Girl is going to spend her new-found free time polishing her hand waving and Vaseline-slicked smile, just in case a horrible ‘accident’ should befall one or more of our winners.

Well, that wraps up the 2010 Ms. Sarah M. Anderson Beauty Contest. I’d like to thank all of our Judges** for casting their votes. It was a difficult choice to make, but the people have spoken.

So, on behalf of Ms. Sarah M. Anderson, I’m Burt Hasselhoff, signing off!

(singing in a baritone voice with orchestral background music)

There She Is, Ms. Sarah M. Anderson . . . .

(Fade to commercial)

**That would be you, Loyal Reader(s)

Round Two

WARNING: The following blog post contains WAY more photos of me, Ms. Sarah M. Anderson, than your recommended daily allowance. View at your own risk.
Friends, welcome back to the annual* Ms. Sarah M. Anderson Beauty Contest! We rejoin our contest after some intense voting and back-room bargaining. I’m your host, Burt Hasselhoff. Let’s find out which Sarahs made the cut, and which ones went home early. Again, let’s give all the Sarahs a round of applause!
(cue applause)
Give a warm welcome back to Thoughtful, yet Serious Sarah:
Many judges liked the thoughtful, but serious nature of this Sarah. Our next semi-finalist is Good-Time Girl Sarah:

A few judges wanted to see more from Good Time Girl Sarah, in the form of cropping and a warmer tone, and Good Time Girl Sarah was only too happy to meet the challenge! 
Now welcome Serious Cowgirl Sarah back to the contest:
She’s still very serious.

Wait! We have a late entry, Serious Cowgirl Sarah’s cousin, Semi-Serious Cowgirl Sarah!
Judges**, I’d just like to remind you that we have many Serious Sarahs with us today. Please be sure to specifiy which Serious Sarah you’re voting for.
Bug Bite Sarah took an early lead in the voting and stayed near the top.
Yes, those biting ants didn’t get her down! Finally, we have the Authorial Mom favorite, Tree Girl Sarah!
She got enough sympathy votes to squeak in under the wire.

That concludes Round Two of the Ms. Sarah M. Anderson Beauty Contest! Ladies and Gentlemen, another round of applause for all six of our lovely Sarah M. Andersons!  Judges**, please keep the rules in mind:
1. Keep it positive. Negative comments will be deleted.
2. All Sarahs can be made color, black and white, sepia, or washed tones. Do not let any Sarah’s current coloring affect your opinions.
3. Remember, this is for an Official Author Picture, which you, loyal reader(s), will have to look up in the corner of this blog, on Facebook, on the Sarah M. Anderson website, and, good Lord willing, on book covers (hopefully sometime soon). Keep these mediums in mind when choosing.
4. Judges may choose only one Sarah for the Final Vote.
So tune in next week to see which Sarah will be crowned Ms. Sarah M. Anderson! I’m Burt Hasselhoff, signing off for the Ms. Sarah M. Anderson Beauty Contest. Until next week, judges! *waves to audience*
(cue applause)
*not really
**That’s you, Loyal Reader(s)