An Evening With Val Kilmer

Did the title of the blog alone make you jealous? It should have. Very, very jealous!

I’m going to a meet n’ greet with Val Kilmer. Yes. Seriously. He’s coming to Hannibal, Missouri to promote a pet project–in which he will play Mark Twain–and I got a ticket. (No, I’m not making a single bit of this up. I’m dead serious, people!) You can read all about the event here.

I’ve also learned something. How you react to the name “Val Kilmer” can, within 3 years, predict how old you are. Really.

For instance, if you say, “Val Kilmer? Is that a guy or a girl?” then I know immediately that you are a snot-nosed teenager who should be sentenced to watch Real Genius until you learn some respect for your elders.

If you say, “Val Kilmer? That creepy old guy?” then I know immediately that you are between the ages of 22 and 28 and should be locked in a room with Willow–and also the actor playing Willow, Warwick Davis (whom you probably only know as Professor Flitwick, you youngin’).

If you say, “Oh my God, THE Val Kilmer? Can I come with you?” then I know that you between the ages of 29 and 45, and were going to the movies with me back in the late 80s and early 90s, when Val’s intense acting and hunky bod took up almost all the space reserved for ‘bad boys’ in our hearts and minds. These women are my friends and do not have to be sentenced to watch Tombstone or Top Gun. They were already planning on coming over and bringing popcorn, wine, and tales of teenaged lusting-in-our-hearts.

If you say, “Oh, that Val Kilmer was quite something back in the day, wasn’t he?” then I know that you are probably pushing 50 or higher, and you also saw Val in his prime, but were old enough at the time to *not* develop extensive, high-school crushes on an unattainable actor, no matter how focused his gaze could be. You’re also invited to movie night, and will probably bring Junior Mints.

If you say, “Wasn’t he in that movie from the 70s?” then I know that you are probably my Gram, who turns 97 today, and further attempts at explanation will only lead to the Spiral of Chit-Chat Death, so I’ll just change the subject to how to pronounce the name of the new St. Louis Cardinals (Mah-THEN-ee, for the last time!)

An Evening With Val Kilmer isn’t until May 2nd, which means I’ve got *loads* of time to drop another twenty pounds, find the perfect I’m-married-but-still-got-it outfit, and practice NOT devolving into a giggling, gushing, 16-year-old version of myself.

Because I’m going to meet Val Kilmer. THE Val Kilmer.

26 comments

  6. Pamela Cayne says:

    I am *crazy* jealous, as Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday is the pinnacle of everything. (Not to mention Real Genius, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Heat, and I could go on and on…) I have an opportunity to meet John Cusack next month and my fear with him is the same as it would be with Val (I can call him that since we're so close)–that IRL, the man just might destroy the awesome image in my head. Here's to both of us coming away with something better than we started with. (And you'd better blog ALL ABOUT IT! WITH PICTURES!!!)

  7. Sarah M. Anderson says:

    Amanda, Pictures are REQUIRED–and I'm normally bad about photos, but not this time!

    Pamela, that's a very real fear. What if he's really a creep or something? What if I have to revise decades worth of crushing? Lord, I hope not. Fingers crossed for both of us!

  8. A. A. Short says:

    Seriously, it was Val as Doc Holiday that had me in a tizzy. And, Sal, I can't believe you've put us into a category with 45. You know I'm having a difficult time accepting my birthday that is all but screaming in my face. I looked in the mirror last night and thought: When I'm turning 56 will I stand before the mirror and think the same thing?—How can I be this old (looking at all the wrinkles) because I certainly don't feel it. And YES I'm so jealous it's ridiculous and I'm nervous for you. 🙂

  9. Sarah M. Anderson says:

    Amy, Amy, Amy, calm down. All I'm saying is the 30 to 45 bracket was, let me do the math, 15 to 30 when Val was at his most hot–all women potentially capable of nurturing long-standing fantasies about Val. It doesn't make us older than we are, or younger than they are–it just means that, collectively, we all appreciate a hot hunk o' man flesh as much as the next woman!

  15. Robin D says:

    Have a great time, Sarah! I was in Play Production (drama class) with Val in high school …he already had that special "Val Kilmer thing" going on. I was a lowly sophomore when he was a senior, but he was nice to everyone – I'd be very surprised (and disappointed) if he had turned into a jerk since then. Oh, and I'm with Kira – the Saint is my favorite Val role, although he was also amazing as Jim Morrison.

  16. Sarah M. Anderson says:

    Robin, that's good to know! There were always rumors that he was 'difficult', but then other people would say, nicest guy, very serious about acting. Thanks for your info! Val in high school–wow!

  17. Carolyn says:

    Well, I have a question for all—two—1. Tell me no matter what your age, you did not drool a little bit at Willow. 2. Why in the hell did Val Kilmer not get an Oscar for Doc Halliday in Tombstone????????

  21. capehope3 says:

    My favorite Val Kilmer films are "The Doors"(which I saw in the theater in high school),"Real Genius", and "Top Secret". I was mesmerized by him in high school. So, can I come with you?

  24. Sarah M. Anderson says:

    Okay, Rattlesnake baby, you prove that, even if you are a snot-nosed teenager, you can still be raised up right, so good on your folks there! There's hope for the future generation after all!

  25. taywesa says:

    omg !!!!! val kilmer wow you are a goddess lol i loved him in thunderheart he is such an awsome actor wish i was going ,now im gonna go cry in my pillow 😉

  26. Anonymous says:

    Hey! I'm 27 and I ADORE Val Kilmer…I first watched Batman when I was 14 and I had such a huge crush on him!

Comments are closed.